PEARLS

Nothing is more dangerous than the truth. Opening up to your spouse is one of the most dangerous pieces of bad advice I've heard when it is not applied with the care that it deserves.

Acceptance of your partners less likable qualities is the bottom line of any long lasting marriage,

Familiarity breeds contempt. Keep a healthy distance and sense of mystery.

I do not know the secret to the "happy marriage" but this is not that. This is for the rest of us.

Bottom Line is counterintuitive. As my late psychiatrist father once wryly remarked. "People stay married for...as long as they want to stay married". Think about it.

His insight was that it has nothing to do with how HAPPY they are in their marriage. It only correlates with how committed they are to staying married to each other, to their union.